I got an email saying my WordPress password had been reset, and since I had to deal with the details of figuring that out, I decided it must be time to post something.
This past month has been unique. I disengaged from an on-line community I had been part of for years. The message board was shut down by the operators so we all had to move on and/or relocalize somewhere else. I haven’t joined any of the new assemblies because I have wanted time to get back into living to see if that near-constant inner-dialog and editing of “what do I want to post about this moment” would end. In the past when I’ve been places, it’s been hard for me to take photos because I just want to be where I am and not constantly interfere with that by trying capture the moment from behind the lense of a camera. That same sentiment has built up around posting, and even though I sort of willy-nilly started this blog awhile back, I simply haven’t wanted to condense my living into any statements about my living.
However, unwiring/rewiring from the habit of posting my life, after each little episode of having felt like I just ‘lived’ it, has been interesting, and has forged a new design in my language use. I like the added stillness and silence, internally. Calming this Writer aspect, the Commentator aspect too, has made me realize how much of my living still felt like it was inside a Richard Scarry book, where everything is pictured and named. Life is feeling more illustrated, just form (and for my entertainment) rather than being didactic form. There’s nothing left to learn from it, or to own of it, through words. And that’s a little funny because more and more my life is feeling like a series of snapshots, of contexts that are worth a thousand words but are totally separate from the context of any other moment.
…I feel like there’s more to say, the Writer in me wants to wrap up this post in a tidy, literate way, but the words have stopped moving through me, so I’m done for now.
thedawnofcreation 